There are so many perks to being single.
For one, you don’t have to worry about making your future coincide with someone else’s. You can be completely selfish when it comes to decisions. You aren’t accountable to someone else. You don’t have that nagging sense of responsibility for their feelings. You don’t feel guilty for the power you hold in your hand that could break someone’s heart. You can go out when you want to go out, you can rock third-day yoga pants and greasy hair and you can finally spend all of your money on yourself.
There are also downfalls to being single. As nice as freedom can feel, sometimes it can feel isolating. There’s something about the human touch that can break every ounce of loneliness, distance and fear of not being accepted that all human beings experience. There’s something about feeling someone else’s skin on yours, feeling their arms wrap you up and protect you from the world that made you so vulnerable in the first place.
This kind of feeling doesn’t come from casual sex, once-a-week dinner dates or even your best friend. The only place you can find these feelings is in the moments where you almost believe time is standing still next as you lie next to the person you love.
Craving the human touch is not a sign of weakness. It doesn’t mean you are weak or unable to take care of yourself. It doesn’t mean you are dependent on a relationship or unable to be yourself without someone by your side. Craving these moments is a sign that you really are, in fact, human.
Everyone wants to be wanted. Everyone craves that one person they can unapologetically be themselves with. Someone who can make you feel calm in a world of chaos, peaceful in times of panic and comforted in moments of mayhem. It doesn’t make you that girl who always relies on someone to fix her or take away her pain. It makes you the girl who finds the beauty in closeness with others. That makes you just like the rest of us.
These feelings are hard to come by, and for good reason. It takes a long time to build enough trust to be vulnerable with someone. Having detached casual sex is much different than cuddling on the couch satisfied by just the feeling of someone’s skin sticking to yours. It’s called a level of comfort. It’s about trust and connection.
I don’t care who you are or how much you love being single. Humans are humans. The whole point of our lives is to surround ourselves with the things we love. To fall in love with everything we can. That includes people. People need people. People need contact and connection and bonding. They need to be touched and held and kissed and cuddled. We are just wired to do those things.
So why is this so important? Why do we miss it when we can’t have it?
Because it’s soothing.
Cuddling up next to someone literally has the power to take all the stress you felt during the day and wipe it clean. There is something so peaceful about being in someone’s arms after a long day. It sort of feels like coming home. You can leave everything at the door and only focus on the warmth of their body, the tenderness of their touch. It’s as if the two of you are the only people in the world and nothing else matters.
It gives you a chance to be vulnerable.
Being vulnerable is actually relieving. When you know you don’t have to work so hard to keep those walls from coming down, you don’t have to hide certain parts of yourself or protect yourself from rejection. Letting yourself be vulnerable feels good. You don’t crawl in bed with someone who is naked and hold them for hours if you don’t trust them. You don’t allow yourself to be that affectionate when your walls are up. Instead, you fight to be distant and detached. Cuddling shows you are comfortable with this person and there is a mutual bond and trust between you.