Finding Mr. Right is hard as hell. Everyone knows that.
We all have our own lists in our heads of the perfect man for us, hoping we aren’t setting the bar too high or putting too much faith in humanity. I say that’s impossible. People are a lot better than we give them credit for and the good ones are just as available as the bad. The problem I see most often is that people will waste time on the wrong partners. They are either incompatible and try to force things or their personalities work against each other. Often times, women will put their hearts and souls into a man that just isn’t worth their time, love or effort.
I suppose this is a good thing eventually because once you have been with someone on the lesser side of good, it makes you appreciate the good in someone else even more. Aside from that, it can teach you what is really important in a relationship and what you won’t settle for again. So, to all of those Mr. Wrongs out there, thanks for teaching women to do better than you.
If you find yourself questioning if he is Mr. Right or Mr. Wrong, take a look at these 8 things. If they are spot on, then you probably need to stop wasting your time and find someone who is worth it.
1. He lies.
Okay, okay. We have all done it. I’m not trying to be meticulous here. What I am talking about is the kind of lies that he won’t fess up to because he knows what he has done or is doing is wrong. Big or small, it doesn’t matter. I don’t mean the kind of lie where he tells you that he really does love those Sunday brunches with your mother. I’m talking about the stuff you find on his phone, the places he’s going to that he shouldn’t be, the actions he won’t admit to.
Why is this so important? Because honesty build trust and trust is the foundation of every relationship. If you can’t trust your partner you will become insecure, resentful and paranoid. You lose everything a relationship is supposed to be about. And if he can’t tell you the truth, even when it’s hard, then he can’t own up to his own wrong doings. You need a man who will take accountability for his actions no matter how hard it is to admit. It’s the only way to move forward.
2. He doesn’t care about your passions.
It’s completely okay to not understand someone else’s passion. It’s okay not to share the same passion. What isn’t okay is not supporting it or showing interest in something your partner loves. If it is dear to you, then he should at least show interest in it. He should be asking you about it, pushing you towards it and praising you for it.
If he isn’t interested in your passions then he is choosing to be selfish. He is choosing not to support you because he doesn’t care about the things that matter to you. More importantly, he is choosing not to care about parts of you.
3. The people closest to you don’t like him for you.
Sometimes our families don’t always see what’s best for us because they have their own idea of what we deserve or what is right for us. But if almost everyone who knows you the best is telling you he’s not the one, you need to listen. They are the ones who care about you the most and want you to have what they know you deserve. Love can make us blind, but usually from the outside the bigger picture is much more clear.
4. You have let go of what’s important to you.
Before you two got together, what were your aspirations and dreams? Are you still pursuing them? In my case, my dreams changed and what I really felt was important to me took a different direction. That’s okay and honestly, it’s normal. But if you have let go of your goals to satisfy your partner or to make it easier to be together, you are doing this all wrong. He should be pushing you to live your dream because it’s important to you. That’s all that matters. The difficulty, stress or effort does not matter to those who really love you because they know how important your goals are to you.
Don’t get me wrong, everyone has to compromise and sacrifice in a relationship, but that doesn’t mean you should be giving up on your aspirations.